Building a Family Culture Around Music: An Interview with Jen McGowan

on songwriting, emotional expression, and passing down a musical legacy

One of the most exciting parts about family life is the opportunity to create your own family culture, one that is shaped around your family’s gifts and values. Sometimes, we carry forward traditions from our upbringing; other times, we create something entirely new. Often, it’s a mix of both.

I grew up in a family that deeply valued music. My paternal grandfather sang in a barbershop quartet and my grandmother directed a handbell choir. On both sides, hymns were a constant presence, and they became a language of my soul. But, growing up, playing instruments together or gathering around a guitar to sing wasn’t part of my home life.

Later, a homeschooling family I admired shared casual videos of themselves playing and singing together. I remember asking the mom if it ever felt strange or awkward, and she told me no—it was just what they had always done. I knew then that I wanted music to be a part of our family culture, too. It also suited my kids’ personalities and gifts. Hearing my kids sing and play music has been one of the greatest joys of my life. Wordsworth wrote, “The music in my heart I bore long after it was heard no more,” and I know that is true.

My friends Jen and Aubrey are musicians in Nashville. They’ve built a family culture around music that inspires me. Not only are they talented musicians, but now their kids are as well.

What drew you to music originally? Do either of you come from a musical family, or did you find your own way?

We both came from musical families. My grandfather was in the house band for the Grand Ole Opry, where he played guitar for many country music greats! My mom also sings and instilled a love of music in me from a very young age. Aubrey's dad was a worship leader and directed choirs. His mom is an amazing singer and plays piano and organ as well.

Can you tell us about your musical journey? How did you first get into songwriting and performing?

We both grew up singing and performing as children. Sometimes in plays and choirs, but more often in hairbrushes and showers (much to the dismay of our siblings!;) Our families attended the same church, where our moms both sang in the choir. We even led together on the kids’ worship team when we were both in elementary school. I know it sounds cliche, but growing up in Nashville, music was just a huge part of the culture.

As far as writing and creating our own music, it really began when we got married. We would write songs for our church to sing and then we started writing more singer-songwriter stuff along the way.

So you and Aubrey have always played music together?

Oh yes! Aubrey and I have played music together our whole marriage. We have always been involved in music at church throughout the years, serving as worship leaders and Aubrey as a worship pastor. During our time in Texas, we wrote and recorded three albums with our church there. In that same season, we also began a side project called Song and Story, where we wrote custom songs for people to commemorate special events like weddings or anniversaries.

That is such a high calling, to find not only the right words but also the music to honor these important life milestones. How do you approach songwriting as a couple? Do you have different roles or styles that complement each other?

Aubrey is hands down the most experienced songwriter in our duo. He usually has the idea or the chord structure before he shows it to me, and then I help bring it all together. He’s the starter and I’m the finisher. I think we make a pretty good team!

You are such a great team! So, you have a large family, you homeschool, and you’re involved in various projects. How do you stay inspired and keep your creativity flowing, especially with the demands of family life?

I can't say that we're great at this. It’s usually having a project or deadline that lights a fire under us to finish a song. When we are in a creative season, we can work on a song for weeks at a time, sharing ideas back and forth until we feel good about it. We rarely have long songwriting sessions. Most of the time, it’s late at night for a few minutes or in the margins of our day.

You captured such an important concept here. Those few minutes here and there can add up to something so meaningful. I once heard a story about a woman who would sew dresses for herself a few seams at a time, dedicating 5 minutes a day to her project. By the end of a year, she had sewn six intricate dresses.

What projects are you currently working on, and what can your fans look forward to?

Last month, we released a Christmas song with our church called "Emmanuel, Love Has Come.” It is such a beautiful song for the Christmas season. It’s available everywhere to stream or purchase. We are hoping to release an entire Christmas album next year!

The best way to keep up with us is to join our mailing list at aubreyandjen.com and become part of Team A+J. Our subscribers are the first to hear about new music, performances, merch, and updates.

How has music shaped your family life and family culture?

I think it's in our DNA. We don't just "practice" music for the sake of perfecting an instrument or our voices; it's just part of who we are. We also have a lot of different musicians in and out of our home. We sit around and jam, share stories and songs, and we never fail to learn something new every time. The mutual love of music and the experience of our unique sounds and perspectives just kind of rubs off on all of us. We love that our kids see firsthand how music brings people together in community. It's a beautiful thing!

Your kids are so musically gifted. How have you nurtured your children’s musical talents? Do they choose an instrument that they would like to learn or do you guide them to or recommend a particular instrument?

Early on, we decided we wouldn't push music on our children just because we were musicians. We wanted them to walk their own journey with it. Looking back, it seems kind of funny that we actually pushed sports on our older kids more than music. At this point though, all of our kids have gravitated toward music on their own to varying degrees.

As far as instruments go, the guitar was an easy choice because that is Aubrey’s primary instrument. He began teaching our oldest son and has continued to bring the younger kids along, when they’re old enough. We want them to have the ability to pick up a guitar and play songs that they love or write their own, even if they don’t pursue it as a dedicated passion.

One thing I love about the guitar is its so portable and unpretentious. If you’re sitting around a fire and someone starts playing “Take Me Home, Country Roads,” everyone joins in. There’s something magical about those moments.

Have you collaborated with your kids on musical projects?

With the kids, we have recorded a scripture alphabet album to help us and other families memorize verses from the Bible together. It was a project that we worked on for over a year. We wrote many of the songs together during our family devotion times and then recorded them in our home studio, with the kids singing on almost every track. That was such a sweet time!

In recent years, we have focused on writing and releasing songs as Aubrey and Jen. We have an album and a number of singles of love songs and an album of lullabies. Just this past fall, we returned to our roots and released an album of contemplative worship songs called Songs of Hope and Healing.

Music is such a powerful medium because it can meet us in all of our emotions—of course, joy and love, but it also has the power to bring peace and healing. In 2022, we experienced a family health scare, and your version of I Need Thee Every Hour brought me peace in a way I couldn’t describe. It was an anchor for me.

As you have walked through your own valleys, can you share how you have used songwriting as an outlet for comfort and lament?

Music can move and speak to your soul when words fall short.
There have been times when a song has helped us express our hearts to God when we didn’t know what or how to pray.

Last year, when our daughter was diagnosed with severe scoliosis, we turned to music to help all of us begin to process the whole experience. The song that came out of this time of wrestling is called Oh My Child.

Sometimes the creative process is a fight, and we certainly struggled and fought for this one. It also holds true that the songs you fight hardest for prove to be the most meaningful to you and others.

The chorus came late one night, just a few days before our first performance of this song. What do you do when you can’t make things go away for your child? When you can’t fix it for them?

This is the chorus that God inspired us to write:

I can pray until my voice is gone
I can hold you through the pain no matter how long
And when you cry yourself to sleep, my tears will keep yours company.

And we will weep together
We will walk together
We will heal together
We will hold together, we will.
I know we will.
Oh my child, I know we will.

Jen, isn’t that what we so often need when we’re hurting? Not the right words, but simply the presence of someone standing with us in our pain or heartbreak and praying for us.

Who would you say have been your musical influences?

Our moms both raised us on a broad range of musical styles. We listened to everything from big band to early rock’n’roll, sixties folk to classical, ’90’s country to R&B, contemporary Christian and gospel to Mo-town and bluegrass. We owe so much to them for elevating the importance of music in our homes and spreading such a wide and colorful feast for us. I used to kind of be embarrassed of my southern roots, but now I embrace it. It is a part of our sound, like it or not! We are a singer-songwriter duo that tells stories with pop melodies and a good dose of sweet tea!

I love that even if we are not musicians ourselves, we can still spread a wide and colorful feast. That is such an encouraging thought!

What’s making you come alive right now outside of music?

Aubrey and I are loving reading through the Bible together. The new year has us both recommitting time and energy to our habits and values and that always feels so refreshing!

Other Interviews in the Series:

Creating Meaningful Advent Traditions: An Interview with Katherine DeGroot

Discovering the Magic in Our Everyday Lives: An Interview with Tanisha McRae

The Art of Gathering: An Interview with Elle Celaya

The Art of Commonplacing: An Interview with Leah Boden

Establishing a Home Life Rhythm: An Interview with Jennifer Pepito

An Interview with Flower Farmer Sarah Davis

An Interview with Pattern Designer Rae Hoekstra

An Interview with Photographer Naomi Ovando