Creating Meaningful Advent Traditions: An Interview with Katherine DeGroot

on winter nature crafts for children, Victorian-inspired Christmas decor, and tips for creating memorable traditions with less stress

I met my friend Katie while working as a photographer at a conference that she spoke at several years ago. We didn’t have a lot of time to talk, but we connected over a few shared interests and exchanged numbers afterward. We quickly realized we had too much to talk about over text and began leaving each other audio messages… and the rest is history. Even though we live over 1,000 miles apart, I discovered that Katie lives near my parents, so we get to spend time together in person (with our husbands, too) when I travel to see my family. Katie has a deep and nuanced perspective and I’ve learned so much from her.

I think many of us would love to include traditions in our family lives. Yet, at times, we can feel a bit disconnected from them. For example, my husband grew up celebrating Christmas Eve with a traditional Slovakian meal called a Vilija, paired with a liturgy that included a communion service around the dinner table. I grew up celebrating with a festive Scandinavian dinner, complete with homemade lefse. Our grandparents are no longer with us and we never learned how to prepare these dishes that held so much meaning as a part of their heritage. And even if we had, which would we choose? Like so many others, we began creating our own traditions—drawing inspiration from the past while also forging new ones of our own.

Are there any Advent traditions that hold special meaning for your family or that you and Seth have created that are uniquely your own?

Our family is pretty young (Seth and I have been married just five years), and so our traditions are still a bit fluid, and I think they’ll be that way for a while. Some years we do all the things, some years I’ll have a new baby, and we’ll have to scale back accordingly. I vacillate between wanting the holidays to feel very peaceful, lowkey and then bespoke, over the top magical.

The first Christmas that Seth and I were dating we went and chopped down a beautiful Christmas tree. We didn’t set out to create a tradition, this one was totally accidental! We were living in the city at the time and essentially wanted something fun to do for the day. Since then, we’ve gone to a local farm to chop down our own tree each December. It’s a tradition I know that many other families partake in, and despite its popularity I still enjoy it, and it seems to kick off our holiday celebration. We call it “tree day.”

As parents, we can often feel a desire—and sometimes even a sense of pressure—around creating memorable traditions that our kids will fondly look back on with joy and nostalgia. And yet, it is such a busy time of year, and families can feel stretched in all kinds of ways.

What advice would you offer to families who want to create simple yet meaningful traditions during this busy season?

My go to tip for simplifying and destressing is to just do less. I know it’s challenging in a consumer driven culture, but there’s no hard and fast rule that you must do everything. I really believe less is more! Our family’s ability to say “no” means we can partake full into all of the things we do choose. There’s freedom in this.

photo by Claire Murray Photography

It’s wonderful that you’ve embraced this early in your parenting journey, Katie. It’s a lesson I learned the hard way as a younger mother. I was well-intentioned and truly excited about all of our plans, but inevitably, at some point, usually near the end of the season, I would dissolve into a puddle of tears. I felt overwhelmed by it all. I decided to incorporate fewer traditions, keeping only the ones that sparked something in us.

As you reflect on seasons past and think about the memories your children carry with them, is there a specific Advent practice or moment that stands out to you as especially meaningful or memorable?

I really love the tradition of St. Nicholas Day, which is celebrated on December 6^th. This is a liturgical tradition I grew up with, and while my husband thought it was weird at first, he has now embraced this day as one to celebrate!

I am a lover of Christmas magic while wanting to root my children in the truth of the Gospel and point them in the direction of holy role models—the saints! This has made the conversation around Santa much easier, as I can remind my children that our modern-day Santa character comes from the real-life example and generosity of a good man named St. Nicholas who loved God.

It’s a simple tradition of setting out your boot/shoes the night before and waking the next day to find them filled with oranges, nuts, and maybe a treat or two. It doesn’t need to be complicated, over the top, or expensive. Yet it’s one tradition I recall so vividly from my childhood and sort of kicks off the holiday season unofficially.

Last year, I had the chance to spend time with you while I was in the Midwest visiting my parents for Christmas. Your home felt so warm and magical! I remember you mentioning that you’ve drawn some of your inspiration from the Victorian era. Could you share more about that?"

Rachel, thank you. That is so kind. I have a lifelong curiosity with The Victorians that I’m sure started in grade school with reading American Girl Doll Samantha books. I was hooked!

I have an ongoing fascination with the builder of our home. His named was John Castle and he came to Minnesota from New York and worked here as an attorney and then later senator. We keep a photo of him in our bar. There doesn’t seem to be any records of any marriages or children and so I’ve created this romantic story in my mind that he built this home with the hopes of a family living in it at some point. He did do an expansive addition which explains some of the oddities in our floorplan, and I just wonder why one person was building such a large home. I see John as a sort of a patron “saint” of our home being that the home in Catholic tradition is seen as the “domestic church.” I like to think of James as a lovable uncle-mentor cheering on our life and stewardship of this home from beyond the grave. I’ve had three homebirths here and we chose to give our first-born son the middle name of James to honor John (who went by James).

When it comes to décor, my favorite saying is “home takes time.” I usually look for one to two pieces of Christmas décor to add to our collection each year and that’s it. I don’t keep a lot of items just because they’re holiday themed. Lately I’ve really been into decorating primarily with foraged greenery. I love pieces that can be used over and over and surpass just one holiday. Items like large pinecones, mason jar candle holders, and beeswax candles are evergreen items that feel lovely year-round.

I can resonate and relate deeply with the Victorians appreciation of family. I’ve noticed in photos and from reading that they often decorated with foraged or found items. Many of the items they used for Christmas are beautiful, but incredibly simple. Things like popcorn and cranberry strung garland, dried citrus, and paperwhites add a genuine elegance and can often be affordable to create.

Do you have a favorite Victorian-inspired Christmas project or recipe that you’ve recreated?

One project that has become a favorite over here are dried citrus slices strung into a garland. These are very simple, easy and economical. I have video instructions on how to do that, but it’s very simple and the perfect project for little hands:

katherinelouisedegroot

A post shared by @katherinelouisedegroot

We love making citrus garlands! That’s been one of the traditions we’ve returned to year after year.

Do you have a favorite Christmas craft that you like to do with your children?

I really believe that the trick to getting creative projects done as a mom is to include my children whenever possible. I specifically choose activities they can help and participate in so I’m not constantly telling them “no” constantly. One thing we like making each December are Christmas simmer pots or stovetop potpourri for our neighbors. We gather ingredients like cranberries, citrus, evergreen, cinnamon sticks, and anise. We place them in bags and deliver to our neighbors on foot. It’s something we look forward to all year and is a great activity to fill our time. Here’s a video tutorial on how we make ours:

katherinelouisedegroot

A post shared by @katherinelouisedegroot

This is such a thoughtful, beautiful, and practical neighbor gift! We love having a simmer pot going! As parents, we are memory makers, and memories are a whole sensory experience: What did Advent look like? What did it smell like? What did it feel like?

Katie, as a parent of four small children, what practical tips have helped you navigate the busy holiday season and create more peace in your life?

Outsource what you can and are able to. If that means hiring a mother's helper, babysitter, or cleaner, please do that. Take advantage of others when they offer to help. I really believe motherhood is not meant to be done alone. Community is vital not just for ourselves, but for our children and spouses, too.

Another piece of advice I have is to utilize planning. All year long I keep a “Christmas” note on my phone. There is where I’ll jot down ideas that come to me, future traditions I want to try, and décor inspiration. Around November I’ll sit down and plan out on my calendar what needs to happen when. I find that if I can plan ahead and create a to-do list I feel much less overwhelmed. Prep work makes the dream work!

I always end with this question: What is making you come alive right now?

Truly and honestly the little moments of quiet and peace I can catch here and there: while the older kids are at school, when they’ve gone to bed, or when I can sneak away to my favorite coffee shop or antique store. I’ve been enjoying instrumental and classical Christmas music that I listen to on the Hallow App.

Other Interviews in the Series:

Discovering the Magic in Our Everyday Lives: An Interview with Tanisha McRae

The Art of Gathering: An Interview with Elle Celaya

The Art of Commonplacing: An Interview with Leah Boden

Establishing a Home Life Rhythm: An Interview with Jennifer Pepito

An Interview with Flower Farmer Sarah Davis

An Interview with Pattern Designer Rae Hoekstra

An Interview with Photographer Naomi Ovando